A Nursling No More

(note: There is a hidden message in this post. See if you can find it!)

Well, my little angel has officially weaned. Being that I have been ready for her to wean for sometime now I thought I would be overjoyed when the time finally came. The feelings of sadness I have experienced shocked me a little. I guess because breastfeeding as been such an important, primary part of our relationship thus far.

When she was born, 33 months ago, there was no doubt in my mind I would breastfeed. Like so many choices you are faced with at the beginning (where do I deliver, do we vaccinate or not, do I breastfeed or give formula) breastfeeding was not something I had to think about. It just seemed like one of those things you just do because that is what you body was created to do, feed your children.

Breastfeeding has been one of my most favorite things about being a mom. Knowing that I was giving her all she needed (during her first year) to grow and thrive was an amazing feeling. And breastfeeding is so much more than nutrition. It is a bond that, unless you have breastfed, you will not understand.

Now we had our challenges. The first few weeks sucked and I did not think we would make it as long as we did. I have a few people to thank for all their support and encouragement.

First I have to thank my wonderful husband. You were my biggest support during those first 6 weeks when so many times I said I wanted to give up. You would get up with me in the middle of the night (when I was exhausted and crying) and remind me of how important it was for me to breastfeed. You never once told me to give up and let you give her a bottle. When I thought I wasn't doing something right, instead of just saying "I have no idea." you did some research to try and find an answer to make things go more smoothly for us. Your support was crucial for us and I thank you so much for that.

I want to thank my friend, Cheryl for telling me to give it at least 6 weeks because that is when things would get better. Boy, did they! It was like night and day. You also said to me, the bonding feeling you are suppose to experience does not always happen right in the beginning, to give it some time. When I complained about how much time I was spending breastfeeding you really put things in perspective for me when you told me to think of it as my new job. I had no other job in the world other than to breastfeed that baby. Thank you for your wonderful advice.

I also specifically want to thank my hair stylist, Keira. I went in to get a hair cut a few weeks after Dylan was born and remember talking about some of the problems we were having and how I wanted to just quit. I remember saying to her I just want to be able to go to Target or somewhere and not worry about her needing to eat. Thinking back, that was such a selfish comment but it was how I was feeling at the time. You told me that my baby will not be a baby very long and that Target will always be there. You told me to enjoy that time I have with her at home and that if I quit I would probably regret it. So thank you for bluntly putting it in perspective for me. I really needed that and you were so right. I know I would have regretted quiting.

I have to thank La Leche League. I found the Denton chapter when Dylan was 3 weeks old. I was desperate to find other mothers near me who were breastfeeding and could tell me the challenges we were facing would get better. I have met some wonderful mothers through LLL and continue to go to meetings.

Thank you also to the rest of my family and friends. You all in some way or another gave me support. From meeting mothers at LLL or online message boards I know that not everyone is as fortunate as me to have so much support for breastfeeding.

Although I wish I could say I let Dylan self wean when she was completely ready I did gently push her in that direction over a period of about 4-6 months. If you wean a child before they are ready, you are ultimately taking away something extremely important to them. It can be a very upsetting and stressful time for that child. I did not want the end of our nursing relationship to be remembered as such. So I'm so thankful it went the way it did. It has been a little over a week since she nursed last and has been okay with it. She does still ask occasionally before bedtime but is satisfied with my answer, "Remember, Mommy's milk is all gone." She did ask me one time to "Please get more mommy." It was so sweet!

This chapter of our relationship has ended and what a wonderful chapter it was!